23 Signs Your Cat Actually Owns You

You can’t remember the last time you used a computer. All you do nowadays is watch a cat while she sits on your hands.

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You haven’t fully processed the fact that your cat’s demands have become increasingly elaborate in nature:

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Your shower does not belong to you anymore:

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And neither does your toilet:

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Even the dog understands that everyone else in the house is a second-class citizen:

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Your cat interrupts you while you’re working because she “didn’t like the way your face looked”:

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Even your attempts to be accommodating are peremptorily rejected:

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You’ve long since given up telling him that he can’t just sit anywhere he wants:

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You may pet her, but she will let you know when it has become tiresome:

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Your laundry isn’t properly “clean” until it is completely covered in cat hair:

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Your hair is a plaything:

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You have come to realize that the “games” you and your cat play together aren’t very fun at all:

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Your morning ritual is a humiliating misery:

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Your dinner is not really your own.

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You are reconciled to daily indignities such as having your evening snack used as a face-warmer:

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The constant. COMPLAINING.

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And the constant sense that you are being judged, laughed at, and basically dismissed as a person:

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You have come to accept petty thievery as just a thing that happens to you sometimes:

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The only time when you are appreciated at all is when you are performing a service:

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But you can expect severe displeasure if you ever have the audacity to get tired of it:

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Your privacy is no longer even remotely sacred:

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And your life is an unending series of increasingly absurd degradation:

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And, after all that, your cat still blanks you in public:

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Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/expresident/signs-your-cat-actually-owns-you

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